Emotional Baggage

The ending of a relationship can be disheartening. For those who have found themselves heart broken and alone it can be quite difficult to begin once again the process of falling in love. Those hurtful emotions can sneak in as you set out to seek the loving companionship of another.

Dating can be a complex adventure at the best of times but just add in a good dose of emotional baggage to the mix and the process of finding true love can become quite a frustrating situation to find yourself in. Emotional insecurity is simply an unfortunate aspect of being human and what a complex factor it is. The excess anger and disillusionment that we bring with us into a new relationship can be quite difficult for others to deal with.

So taking a little peek back at my past romantic insecurities this is my tongue in cheek look at emotional baggage. What it is, how we get it, and how we can deal with it. It isn't always a black and white scenario. Just as emotions have a wide range of degrees to them so does emotional baggage come in a varied assortment of colours. These colours vary in intensity depending on their carrier's mood. Luggage that comes in the colour blue would be depression. Green would be the jealousy which of course is so often accompanied by a misty powdering of mistrust.

Red, oh that would definitely be the rage, the I would just as soon break your arm as let you put it around me syndrome.

Then there is brown. Poor old comfortable and reliable brown. This colour of luggage just sits in the closet and waits to go somewhere but it never does. It avoids ever being further damaged by just never being taken out.

White, pure innocent white, I don't think people with emotional baggage buy that colour. It gets dirtied up too fast.

Pink is the I think I'll try to be pretty today colour and purple is the Look at me like that again and I rip your eyes out of their sockets colour.

Black is for individuals who carry around with them a dark cloud of depression and rage. This is the kind of baggage you really do want to try to avoid if at all possible. It can be very scary.

Yellow is the I want to be normal again colour and beige is the I am almost there. Yep, baggage definitely comes in different shades and shadows of past experiences.

Orange is a rather strange colour for a luggage set and it is a very distinctive type of person who packs it along with them. These individuals seem to enjoy leaving a lasting impression of their stay. Causing as much damage as they are able to in the least amount of time before they exit the situation as quickly as they are able to.

So what exactly is emotional baggage? It is a burden that many of us unwittingly carry. It is the negative emotions that we bring forward from our previous relationships.

Comprised of unresolved issues from the past and the hurt feelings that resulted from these events we carry these emotional burdens with us into our new relationships.

We often pick up our emotional baggage in our unsuccessful love relationships but it can also be something that we have carried with us since childhood. Emotional baggage can be acquired whenever there has been disillusionment or betrayal within a previous relationship and it can be a large factor for some individuals to overcome as they seek out new relationships.

It can be a heavy emotional load for any one person to carry so we tend to share it with others who we interact with on a social basis. The disillusionment from these past hurtful events, and the fear of them occurring again, influence our attitude and behaviours within our current relationships. Unfortunately this effect is most often in a negative manner.

Emotional Baggage is:

Hurt

Anger

Jealousy

Mistrust

Insecurity

An Inability to Commit

Good, bad, or just a simple matter of trust? I guess it all boils down to a matter of trust or should I say our inability to trust. The past hurt clouds our judgement in future relationships disabling our ability to move forward at a normal pace.

Learning to trust isn't easy but having a willingness to do so is probably the quickest method of moving forward. The cure? Plain simple love. Opening your heart up to be hurt, and trusting that you won't be.

As we experience positive reinforcement it bandages over the personal insecurities so damagingly inflicted in the past, and we begin to heal. As we grow more secure in our relationships the characteristic behaviour that often accompanies emotional baggage also begins to ease.

Getting rid of the emotional baggage and replacing it with loyalty and trust can be difficult but it is not impossible. And who is to say that keeping a bag or two packed for convenience is not a good thing? That old luggage you are carrying around just might come in handy on an occasion or two. Yeah, it's a trust thing.

Am I carrying emotional baggage? Let's just say that at various times in my life I have carried quite a load along with me. Life can have a funny habit of tossing that kind of stuff in your direction every now and then. My somewhat warped attitude toward life used to bother me a little but it does not concern me too much anymore. I have learned to live with my quirks. I've also discovered that women are not the only ones carrying a lot of baggage along with them. However there does seem to be a difference in the types of luggage that men and women carry around with them. As one fellow explained to me, "Mine is merited anger".

Merited anger? Now I am not too sure that I really understand the difference between anger that is considered to be emotional baggage and merited anger which is not but I decided not to question that comment too deeply. I walked away from that encounter thinking that he probably has a set of orange suitcases sitting in his home.

Don't Worry it Does Get Better as You Rebuild Your Trust

My hubby and I

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Emotional Baggage