A lot of times the stress is unnecessary. People simply start thinking far more than they should and it is the expectations created that can make dating an uncomfortable experience. Dating anxiety is a pretty normal thing when you are starting over again.
Getting over the fear and insecurity is simply a process of learning how to cope with these feelings as they arise. So let's take a wee little look into how to de-stress and enjoy the adventure that is dating.
A date is so much more fun when you can relax and view it as time spent as an evening out. A date is simply a new experience that should be enjoyed for the entertainment that it provides.
We can have a tendency to over think things so try not to let your imagination go wild as this can over complicate the issue. Relax and enjoy the time spent out with this new person for whatever the experience may be worth. Accept the date for exactly what it is, time spent with a person that you may or may not know but someone that you are attempting to get to know better.
Take the pressure off and simply enjoy the adventure of discovering who they are. He/she does not have to be your future life partner nor does he/she have to be someone that you will even see again once this date is over.
On the opposite end of the scale try not to start building little white picket fences right out of the gate. It can be pretty easy to let one's imagination start wandering and attribute characteristics to a person which they may not truly have. Don’t allow yourself to start thinking too far into the future before you have a chance to really get to know this person.
Starting Over Again Can Feel a Little Uncomfortable
Stay Calm - Stay Confident. Remember that you are in control. If you feel uncomfortable you can end this first meeting at any time. You have no obligations to this person, it is simply an encounter to meet and investigate this person to discover if they might be compatible with you.
This date may result in a friendship, a relationship, or no further contact past this first meeting. You are in control of how this relationship goes. If it does not look good don't hesitate to end it at this point.
Look at the date as an afternoon outing. Going for coffee, for lunch at a local restaurant, to the movies, to a concert? These are all great experiences if you were going with friends or family so relax and look at this date as a chance outing. It is entertainment. A new adventure. Enjoy.Dating is simply a means to find a compatible companion. You do not have to spend the rest of your life with this person. To be polite you really only have to spend about 20 minutes on the date and if you feel uncomfortable you can leave right away.
This encounter is a chance to meet someone to discover if you would like to investigate them further. You won't have to have any further contact with them past this first encounter if you do not want to. You have no obligations to this person. You are completely in charge of how far this relationship progresses.
Calming down to get out the door? First dates and the anticipation leading up to them can be nerve wracking. You want to make the best impression that you possibly can. You want to be charming, witty, and cute all rolled into one attractive package.
Problem is that your sweat glands are working overtime, your hay fever is acting up, and this is just about the time when a brand new bright red pimple makes an appearance right in the middle of your forehead. The stress can be overpowering to the point where you start thinking that it might be better to just forget the whole idea but don't.
Trying to find someone to help fill those lonely hours isn't always easy. You may find yourself confronting fears of acceptance and rejection that you didn't even know existed. How on earth do you manage to put your nervousness to the side so you can pull this first date off? Whether you are 18 or 60 feeling a little anxious on the first date or two is a perfectly normal reaction. Dating can definitely bring out all those feelings of insecurity that you thought you had abandoned back in high school.
It's important to have confidence in yourself. Dress in attire that you feel both comfortable and attractive in. When you feel uncomfortable in your clothing then you are more apt to feel uncomfortable in your attitude. If you look attractive then you will feel attractive. Dating can make you very aware of all the little creases and wrinkles that have appeared in your body over time. Will you measure up? It can be far too easy to start examining the tiny fibers of your personality and looks.
If this is the first time you are meeting try to keep the meeting casual. Getting together for a cup of coffee at a local restaurant will insure that there is not too great an expectation put onto this first date. Also it allows for a quick exit should you choose to end it early.
Always keep in mind that you can end this date at any time. You are under no obligation to remain.
Try not to analyze yourself, your partner, or the situation too much. Just let the date flow. Ask questions if you are curious about an issue or if something concerns you. If you feel uncomfortable then encourage them to do the majority of the talking or feel free to excuse yourself and leave.
What do you talk about? Think of things that you might discuss with a co-worker or your friends but don't get too personal on the first date or two. Just be yourself. You don't want to portray yourself as someone you are not. If you don't click as a couple then you don't click. For today simply relax and enjoy the experience. If they aren't someone that you want to see again then move on in your search for someone who will be more compatible with you.
Be comfortable in your appearance. Feeling confident in your appearance will help you feel more confident on your date. Dress appropriately for your evening out. Don't overdress. Dress to fit the atmosphere. Wear clothes that while comfortable are not too casual as to make it look like you are not concerned about your appearance.
If you know where you are going for the evening then your clothing choice will be much easier to make. Don't be afraid to ask your date what you will be doing that evening so you are able to dress for the occasion. Don't stress too much on the little details. A small pimple or other flaw is forgivable. We all get them.
Many couples are now meeting through online dating sites. The modern dating world is much different than it was even a few years ago. Online dating now has individuals meeting absolute strangers.
This can be risky business and any reservations you are feeling about that first meeting may be justified. You know nothing about this person other than the information that they have decided to place on their profile. Has this person told the truth? Are they a player, a con artist, a stalker, violent, or perhaps a mass murderer? It has happened many times.
It is always best to be safe now than to be sorry later. Do not give out your address or have your date pick you up at your home. Always meet in a public place for your first few meetings. He or she does not need to know everything about you right away. Play safe and stay safe.
Positive aspects of meeting someone new? Perhaps your date will have a sense of humour, be a great conversationalist or a very good listener. Sometimes just listening to their stories or experiences can bring you a new perspective to how you view life.
Choose an appropriate location. Generally a casual first date is best if this is the first time you are meeting each other. Coffee or some other short date in a public place is suggested.
Arrange to arrive separately by using your own mode of transportation as this will greatly increase your safety. This independence will keep them from controlling where they take you and also keep them from knowing where you live. It will also enable you to more easily leave when you decide to. If you already know each other then dinner, a concert, movie, dancing, or a sporting event are all very reasonable expectation for the date.
If you are going out to dinner try to choose a restaurant that isn't overly expensive and along that same theme one that is not too casual. Don't order the most expensive item on the menu or the largest meal available. Splitting the bill or going dutch is definitely acceptable. Act as you would if you were out with a friend.
First impressions are important. Be polite and considerate and try not to monopolize the conversation. Never use coupons on a first date and don't over indulge in alcohol even though it may seem to be a good way to relax for the date and for safety's sake keep an eye on your beverage to insure that nothing gets slipped into it. If you have to go to the washroom try to finish your drink before you go or require a fresh one when you return. Have an escape plan so you can end the date early. Sometimes a date will have a natural tendency to run the opposite direction from what you had anticipated.
You may find yourself spending the evening looking for ways to get home as early as possible. In which case having some unpredictable disaster occur that allows you a quick exit may not be such a bad thing at all. It is perfectly acceptable to have an escape plan in place. There really are no set rules to dating. When it comes to ending the evening leave when you feel it is best for you to exit the scene.
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