The use of compliments or the absence of them can determine the mood for the social connections that we are involved in. Compliments are a powerful social mediator and a very important part of the relationships that we form. Where as criticism will cause the development of negative feelings such as insecurity or anger a compliment will create a positive response in those that we interact with.
A well placed compliment can offer reassurance to the individual and potentially even a reasoning for them to pursue or continue a relationship. There are a number of reasons why it is important to compliment the people that you care about but let's suffice to say that maintaining a positive association with someone is one of the most important benefits of a compliment.
Flattery will get you everywhere. Ask any husband if telling his wife that she is getting fat will net him better results than telling her she is beautiful. The answer is obvious. A well placed compliment by the husband will allow his wife to feel secure within herself and their relationship and will garner him a positive response in return. By complimenting his wife on a regular basis a husband can insure that their relationship will persevere over any negative influences that may occur within it. Compliments are a positive factor in relationships and an extremely important means of insuring our success within them.
Where children are concerned this cementing of the relationship with well placed compliments is equally important. Although a parent child relationship is largely held together by dependency the emotions of love and hate play a very important role in how the future of the relationship will play out.
Early positive affirmation gives children the incentive to pass this encouragement on to others that they come in contact with thus compliments can actually give children the skills need to develop and maintain their future relationships.
Compliments also play a very important role in a child’s development. By complimenting your children on their accomplishments you encourage them to pursue further challenges and to strive for further successes. While constructive criticism of children is important too much negativity can leave a child feeling insecure and afraid to move forward in life because they may fail at the task set before them. Compliments give children the positive re-enforcement needed to move forward as secure individuals.
Man likely learned the reasoning behind complimenting those that he interacted with pretty early in the game of life. As the member of a small social group he would have been very dependent on the other members of his tribe for survival. Being part of a group or tribe would have meant greater safety from an external attack and an increased opportunity for success within hunting excursions. This beneficial social interaction would better increase his odds of surviving in the primitive world.
Criticizing those that he existed with could have meant immediate death or banishment from the tribe. Where as a well placed compliment could have earned him increased favours food and status within the group. Offending those close to him was not a very good idea and this learned behaviour carries on today. Compliments are a very important part of insuring our place in society. Compliments don’t cost anything to give so insure that you give at least one or two every day. They really are an important component to include in our daily social interactions.
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