You want so badly to make them smile when they are sad and yet sometimes this same love is filled with anger, jealousy, bitterness and even hate. Some days you would like nothing better than to wave a magic wand and make this same person just poof and be gone away.
Love is that mushy gushy stuff that makes your heart sometimes feel like it is being twisted into the shape of a pretzel. It is being accepted for who you are and being accepting of your partners faults and insecurities. Love is very giving.
So is love over rated? There is absolutely no doubt that it is and it is this over exaggeration of love's merits which is perhaps the number one reason why in so many cases love fails. Many of us go into love with an unrealistic expectation of what we expect from it.
Men may see the one they fall in love with as a partner who will always be there as a best friend. They view their partner as someone who will provide unconditional moral support as well as provide the comforts of hearth and home just as mom once did. Men may expect to find a partner who will be there to willingly satisfy their sexual needs as they arise.
A woman may search for a lover who will be a confidant, friend, and perhaps even her knight in shining armor, a man who will take care of both her emotional needs as well as her physical comforts, a protector from the possible harm or poverty that she might otherwise encounter. It all sounds like such a very pretty dream and the images that we create around marriage are often just that. A fantasy with expectations that are beyond the ability of each spouse to fulfill.
Couples do not get along all the time. They disagree, they argue, and they do get angry with each other. Each member of the union is human and as such cannot act out perfectly the roles and ideals that are expected of them on a daily basis. We are human. We get tired, we get moody, we get grouchy, and for these reason we may not always do what is expected from us. It is a sad fact that as time passes lovers sometimes become disillusioned with the relationship as they begin to discover that their partner cannot meet the expectations that they have set out for them. We often time put far too high an expectation on what we expect from our closest partner. In which case it is our interpretation of love that is far too over rated.
The expectations for it are just too high and so often disappoint those who enter into it. This is perhaps the number one reason as to why long term relationships fail. It is so very important that a lover accept their partner for who they are and not for what they want or expect them to be.
When you first fall in love you feel all warm and gooey inside. You feel so giddy and happy that half the time you wind up with a big goofy grin plastered across your face. You feel almost euphoric and there is a very good reason as to why these feelings happen. You are actually experiencing an intense natural “high” that has been described as mimicking the strength of the drug morphine. When you first fall in love it is actually an infatuation. Your brain releases a number of feel good chemical into your body. Adrenaline, Dopamine, Oxytocin, Norepinephrine, and Phenylethalimine are the main reasons why you experience this emotional high.
If you have grown to know them for who and what they are and can accept them without unrealistic expectations of who they are, then this caring is what should carry you into and through the next phase of your relationship.
Unfortunately many people have come to believe that the emotional rush that accompanies new love should be present throughout the entire course of a relationship. They have the mistaken notion that love has died or become stagnant when this biological euphoria diminishes. Many of these same individuals then leave the relationship because they are disappointed that their expectations of the relationship were not met.
Often these same individuals will bounce from relationship to relationship and somehow always just miss out on finding their true love. Unfortunately they also miss out on ever experiencing the deeper emotional love that enters into the later years of the relationship as well. Love is one of the greatest emotional adventures that we can experience. It is a series of incredible highs and lows. Enjoy the roller coaster ride.
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